Friday, May 4, 2012

Trying to Stay Positive

I had a miscarriage last week. Sometimes miracles arrive so tiny that we cannot feel the weight of them; and yet we are still changed, and we are blessed none the less… at least we have taken a step forward and know that pregnancy CAN happen. ♥ While I know, the reality has yet to set it. It will hurt. But we have each other.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

TTC'ers Prayer

Gracious God,

We long for a child and find our hearts shaved of hope. As month after month we go childless. The love we have to give and share with a child fills us to the brim, but that love seems thwarted when our longing is not fulfilled. Look with tenderness upon us, oh God. Let the disappointment that hangs over us be lifted by the joy of your touch. Give us the patience that will re-build hope. As we wait for the fullness of our love in the high calling of parenthood. We ask this for the sake of your love.


Thursday, June 30, 2011

What If...

The things I've been thinking, saying, feeling for the past five years.. in a 4 minute and 50 second youtube video.

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Without Our Dancing Shoes: Year 7

When is enough, enough? How far do you push it and when do you move on to a plan "B"? If there is one. 

Jack and I have "technically" been trying for almost seven years. (Yes, we baby danced without the right dancing shoes.. At least we were young and stupid, while we were still young and stupid). Anyways, seven years.. at twelve months to a year.. that's 84 times that I got it wrong. 

How long do I continue to drag Jack through this? This was not what he signed up for.. it's not what WE signed up for. I can't help but wonder if Jack thinks about all the things we could be doing each month rather than hormone injections, trips to the doctor for ultrasounds nearly every other day, and being asked to pass the thermometer before we've even wiped the crusties from our eyes first thing in the morning. Is it wrong for me to want the ability to do more than that.. to worry about more than that? I want to be able to drink more than one glass of wine with dinner, I want to be able to eat whatever I want without having to worry how it is going to affect my egg quality, and I want to be able to enjoy my husband without timed intercourse and conversations about cervical mucus and ovulation.

"Miscarriage is a loss-- infertility is not".... but, isn't it?

Well, obviously, since I'm an emotional wreck already.. we're back in the game. Jack should be home from deployment soon so I've been started on Clomid, yet again. We're giving it a cycle to build up in my system before it is actually put to use. So, fingers crossed. 
[ps; this will be revised later.. I'm going with next to zero sleep and there is a good chance the majority of this may not make sense. I just felt the need to blog.]

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

In God's Time♥

Just a little reminder for my fellow TTC'ers: don't lose faith.♥

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Birds & Bees

This Halloween, Jack and I are going trick-or-treating. He doesn't know it yet; but he will be a bee and I will be a bird. Birds and bees make babies; right? If only it were that easy.

Anyway, here is some info I would like for y'all to check out.


On May 12, 2011, legislation was introduced into Congress that, if passed, will establish a tax credit to improve access to medical treatment for infertility, which affects millions of people in the United States i. This important legislation could help those who might not otherwise be able to have children, build families of their own through in vitro fertilization (IVF) if indicated as a course of action.

The Family Act of 2011 is the first tax credit introduced in Congress to support those seeking to build a family through medical treatment for infertility. It was introduced to the Senate by Senator Kirsten Gillibrand (D-NY) in an effort to reduce the considerable cost barriers that infertile couples face.

The American Society of Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) lists the average price of one in vitro fertilization (IVF) cycle in the U.S. to be $12,400.i For the majority of patients seeking treatment for infertility, costs for assisted reproductive technology, such as IVF, are paid for-out-of-pocket and not a covered benefit under group or individual health insurance policies. Only 15 states have passed laws requiring that insurance policies cover or offer to cover some level of infertility treatment ii.

With new U.S. healthcare costs continually rising and new coverage mandates in place as a result of the new healthcare reform law, it is more important than ever to establish tax and economic policies that are supportive of families.

If you would like to contact your Congressman to voice your support of the Family Act, go to .

About the Family Act:

Tax payers who have been diagnosed as infertile by a licensed physician and for whom the indicated course of treatment is to undergo IVF treatment would be able to claim a tax credit
Eligible treatments include medical procedures, laboratory procedures, professional charges and other necessary costs when a patient undergoes IVF treatments
The maximum credit amount available to eligible tax payers would be $13,360
The credit would be available to taxpayers that have an adjusted gross income of less than $182,500 and phases out for those whose incomes reach $222,520
There is a 50/50 cost share inherent in the credit so eligible tax payers may claim the credit for up to one half of their expenses
About In Vitro Fertilization

During in vitro fertilization (IVF), medications are often used to help stimulate the development and release of a woman's eggs. The eggs and sperm are each collected and then placed together in a laboratory dish (in vitro is Latin for "in a glass") to fertilize. If the eggs are successfully fertilized, the embryos are then transferred into a woman's uterus. Hopefully one of the embryos will implant and develop just as in unassisted conception